May 1, 2009

The mundane repetitiveness of life murders those with the need for validation, for love, for something worthwhile. Life is tiresome, shocking, lonesome. I don't belong on this planet, with these creatures. I belong in outer-space with extra terrestrial beings, with ,hose on a journey for some type of real life form because there are  none to find on planet earth. Maybe traveling at the speed of light could give me light to the reality around me. My pisces self has not been stuck in reality for longer than a few hours as a time such hours i might have been taking the SAT giving a presentation, working, and possibly those few time I attempt to create a future for my being who only seems to live in the moment of now, this hour, this minute, this second of time which brings me into a daydream, life-long, of the past lives, future lives, possibilities of the moment. What is now? Where are we? How are we here? Evolution? Some man called god? Some explosion in the sky? Do we study more on we came to be or how we will come to be extinct? Extinction will be glorious. We could leave with a bang.. bang. bang. bang. Coming from my ears. Where does that banging come from? My tattering brain? My useless heart? My wiggling toes? Who really knows? Bang. Bang. Banging, pounding, thudding heart. is this what love feels like? Oh, wait, no, i am just going into cardiac arrest. How wonderful compared to that feeling of love, of vulnerability, instability, love is much more life threatening than a heart attack.