February 25th, 2009

This town. These people. I see the same ones everyday, go through the same motions every minute, life goes on and I am sitting on the sidelines watching wondering where I can find someone that I can attempt to relate to, that can relate to me. I have yet to find that person... The character of people in my life have astonished me lately. Why has the world become so superficial? so impersonal? I feel alone in a world of hate and mistrust. I just hope that I don't let it get the worst of me. I give and never receive, and for awhile I have never complained, but there comes a point when it gets to be too much. I thought I was strong enough to just deal but just dealing isn't working out, change is in order. A change of scenery. A change of people. A change of life. 

February 11, 2009

Feeling. Touching. The two words have the same definition but they are nothing alike. A feeling is something manifested deep beneath the surface of one's flesh whereas one needs no soul in order to touch. Does the male race simply just touch and never truly feel? Does the same apply to women as well? Who are the lucky few that do not have to feel? Touching is so much simpler.. No downfalls, no anguish. 

When and why did everything change? When did we stop being children, when did we lose our innocence? Our love for life, for fun, for the little things? I found myself sitting in the waiting room at the hospital today talking to a boy named Jaden by the age of 3. He had more spirit and enthusiasm and love than anyone of my peers. Life has become a duty, not a privilege.  A need, not a want. A nuisance, not a blessing. And I am no exception to everyone else. I take life for granted: the beauty of the ocean, the vivid colors of the sunset, along with that tantalizing smell after rainfall. Will it always be like this? When will I begin to appreciate the feel of a warm wind flowing through my hair or the grains of sand inbetween my toes? 

Soon I hope.